Sitting down with my hot cup of milo and sprinkles of tiny marshmellows, I couldn't help myself reminiscing the past and the significant of the date that fell right after the clock striked 12. Exactly a year ago, I was torn between battling my evil self and the inner demons of an ex-pyschotic girlfriend. I fondly remember how it was exactly at Perth, same time last year when I announced a probable four years relationship to Long Legs. I remember feeling shaken, beaten, sad, stupid, somewhat betrayed and extremely lost. The cold back then made me more bitter than ever, and I was on the verge of doing really stupid things.
But...
But here I am 365 days later, somewhat glad that the shit I've inflicted on myself and others have improved lives tremendously. For him and for me. For him he's had the chance to love others, for me, I've had one full year to learn about myself - something i've never had the chance to do myself as I've been in the dating arena since 13.This year I've learnt how not to expect, how to give, and how to be myself and live with it. That could probably the best and worse combination ever. This year I learnt how to let go. This year was my year finding what mattered and what bothered, and this year, I fulfilled my personal goals
Not to get a bf, not to give in to temptation and not to fall short/giving up on my studies.
They seem little, but I believe I was doing what more than what people expected out of me. It was a huge change and a major paradigm shift. And it took a whole lot more than saying NO to accomplish these things - and although I've had fair shares of dissapointing others, I proudly say I certainly did not dissapoint myself. And I think, thats all that truly matters in the end.
23rd December also signifies
Ferny and Raveen going steady in 2007
My Niece Zenyi's birth in 2008!
And my college bestie Linda and bf Alvin's 4th Anniversary.
Of course things are not as what I'd like them to be, I also wouldn't have it any other way. So long legs, Happy Anniversary :) for we maybe be the bestest of friends till the end of time.
And no, calling me babi is not nice. Lol.
